Come and listen to a story ’bout a man named Ed,
A poor investment banker barely kept his family fed,
Then one day Malcolm said come work for me,
So Ed loaded up the Bentley and he moved to Alderley.
Edge that is; Indoor pools, football stars.
Well the next thing you know Ed’s helping billionaires,
The Glazers say, “Get some money outta there.”
Said, “Ed help us ’cause we need some Equity.”
So he gave them half the proceeds when we ‘came a PLC.
Nice one Ed; Share options, bonus time.
Now Ed is touring. Europe in his chopper don’t cha know,
Trying to sign top players like Cesc and Thiago,
Tells them, “Old Trafford is the place you oughta be.”
But he haggles over pennies so we’re stuck with Cleverley.
Tom that is; Top six finish, guaranteed.
Y’all come back now ya’hear!